Mastering the conflict resolution skill

The world we live in is engulfed with conflicts and it is only natural. We have diverse perspectives and ideas and it clashes with others quite often. Having the ability to navigate these conflicts effectively is a valuable skill that can significantly impact your career and personal life. We are all faced with conflicts of various intensity in our professional and personal lives. And interestingly we all possess conflict resolution skills. By honing them you can harness the advantages of conflict and find solutions that are mutually beneficial.

What do conflict resolution skills entail?

Conflict resolution goes beyond simply avoiding conflict or imposing one’s will on others; instead, it seeks to find common ground, promote understanding, and maintain positive relationships. This skill is invaluable as it nurtures collaboration, reduces stress, and enhances overall well-being. Unfortunately, in today’s world, conflict often leads to counterproductive outcomes. To master conflict resolution skills, therefore, you need to understand where conflict stems from and what you need to work on to improve your skills in conflict resolution.

Psychology of conflict

In our brain, conflict arises from our “fight or flight” instinct rooted in the Amygdala, the primitive part of the brain designed to improve our chances of survival. In general, conflict occurs due to differences in perceptions, needs, values, and goals. Prominent psychologist Daniel Goleman, known for his work on emotional intelligence says, “In a dispute, emotions can quickly overwhelm rational thinking, making it crucial to recognize and manage your emotions to resolve conflicts effectively.” We have all experienced challenging situations where our emotions took over.

The prefrontal cortex, associated with reasoning and problem-solving helps us override those emotional responses. However, it’s only with practice and awareness, that can you learn to control your emotional reactions and approach conflicts with a rational mindset.

Conflicts are good

Conflict can be a catalyst for problem-solving and innovation. Different viewpoints can spark creativity and lead to novel ideas and solutions that might not have arisen in a conflict-free environment. In the absence of conflict, there is a risk of complacency and stagnation. Without challenges or disagreements, individuals and organizations may not be motivated to improve or change.

Conflicts often prompt us to communicate more openly and assertively. It challenges us to manage our emotions, develop empathy, and refine our interpersonal skills. And when conflicts are resolved constructively, they can strengthen relationships. To take advantage of conflicts, however, you need to master your conflict resolution skills.

In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

Albert Einstein

Developing conflict resolution skills

In the book, Getting to Yes, the authors talk about the concept of principled negotiation, here you separate people from the problem and focus on interests rather than positions. Psychologist John Gottman, recommends maintaining a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative one as key to healthy conflict resolution and long-lasting relationships. Experts also recommend the below skills that can help you master conflict resolution:

• Self-awareness: Begin by understanding your own triggers and emotional responses to conflict. Practice self-reflection and identify areas for growth in managing emotions during disputes.
• Active listening: Cultivate the habit of active listening, which involves giving your full attention to the other person and seeking to understand their perspective. Empathetic listening builds trust and opens doors for constructive dialogue.
• Empathy: Put yourself in the shoes of others to better comprehend their feelings and needs. Empathy builds a sense of connection and can de-escalate conflicts by demonstrating your genuine concern.
• Communication skills: Hone your communication skills, both verbal and non-verbal. Be clear, concise, and respectful in your interactions. Avoid blame and criticism, and instead, express your thoughts and feelings using “I” statements.
• Problem-solving: Shift your focus from positions to interests when addressing conflicts. Ask open-ended questions to uncover the underlying issues and work collaboratively to find mutually beneficial solutions.
• Practice and patience: Developing conflict resolution skills takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and others as you navigate conflicts and seek continuous improvement.

Conflict resolution at workplace

In the workplace, effective conflict resolution can elevate your career by improving your professional relationships, teamwork, and problem-solving abilities. It helps showcase your leadership skills and adaptability. Plus, it contributes to a positive work environment, which can lead to higher job satisfaction and opportunities for growth. On the other hand, unresolved or poorly managed conflicts can lead to negative consequences, such as damaged relationships, decreased productivity, and emotional distress.

Remember, conflicts are not roadblocks; they are opportunities for growth, understanding, and deeper connections. Do not let your basic instinctive response hijack your rational thinking.  Practice consciously steering your emotions to achieve positive outcomes. By understanding the psychology and brain wiring behind conflicts, drawing from prominent research in the field, and adopting practical strategies, you can become a master of conflict resolution.

Conflict resolution is a skill that can be cultivated and enhanced throughout your life.