Surprise, surprise!
Of the basic six emotions, surprise is the exception as it can either be positive or negative. The rest of the five basic emotions that we experience are fear, anger, joy, sadness, and disgust. We all do things to surprise others and mostly wish for surprises as well. However, we experience small surprises more often than the grand ones, like giving or receiving an appreciation. As element of surprise helps us in many ways, we use it at workplace and in personal lives. Let’s understand the concept of surprise and how we could use it more effectively and constructively.
Science of surprise
We get surprised when something unexpected occurs. In that moment, there is a neurological burst of dopamine, you momentarily stop thinking, feel intense emotions, interpret the event, and form a new belief. For example, say you have never played football and not once did you think you could score a goal. You were given the opportunity to kick and on your first attempt, you made a goal. You were surprised, for a moment, you couldn’t think or believe it happened, you felt elated. From that moment on, your belief on your ability to score a goal changed.
Surprise and forming beliefs
Dr. Michael A. Rousell, who authored the book The Power of Surprise, says we are hardwired to learn instantly or form a belief during a surprise. We further use all related information to affirm such beliefs, and it is very difficult to change these beliefs. For instance, imagine you saw a big spaceship and it became invisible within a second, it took you by surprise. It would be very difficult for anyone who did not see what you did, to change the belief you formed in that moment. Dr. Rousell, in his book, further talks about how we can use surprise to hack the belief system of others to achieve a goal, and that surprise could be used to enrich someone’s life.
If you thought your shyness makes you unfit to lead, and your manager calls on you and states that your attention to detail makes you perfect to lead the next project. In that moment, your belief changed as your perception was challenged with a skill that you overlooked. When someone takes us by surprise, they successfully hijack our thought process. For a moment our thought freezes, and then, we experience a cognitive and emotional shift. It changes our perspective about the subject matter which results in forming a new belief.
Using surprise as a tool
Comedians use surprise all the time and deliver in such a way that our beliefs are hacked instantly. Story writers use it to make a story captivating with twists and turns across the plot. Many successful sales professionals capture their client’s attention to create or strengthen the belief that their investment is an essential one using the element of surprise. Negotiators use surprise constructively to form collaborations of various nature. Politicians use it to win over masses. However, surprises can be used both positively and negatively to achieve a goal. It is essential to keep yourself in check and ensure that you are using it positively by not using misinformation or threats and so on.
You can use the element of surprise when you are negotiating, whether at work or in personal life. For example, when you are trying to resolve an issue, you can surprise the other person by saying, “Let’s make sure we both benefit equally from this discussion”, right at the start and be genuine. Appreciate a person when they least expect it. If you assigned a task to your team member to complete training during a time of heavy workflow, and they only managed to complete it at the last minute, appreciate it. Or if your kid confessed when they did something wrong, appreciate the fact that they confessed and may be talk to them instead of punishing or yelling.
You can take people by surprise by complimenting, confiding, or even apologising when they least expect it. Try it. Surprise people positively and notice how it changes their perception of you and improves their willingness to work with you.