Thinking, thinking always?
Thinking drives imagination and creativity. Thoughts are necessary to analyse a situation, plan for an activity, or dig deep to find meaning. Profound thoughts help us find meaning, and engaging with such thoughts may sometimes give us insight. Thoughts are valuable to us. While thinking the way we do was fundamental for our evolution, thoughts have their cons too. Thoughts have a tendency to burden us when they become repetitive and sometimes disturbing.
It is natural
We are virtually bombarded by thoughts all the time. Studies show that the average person may have as many as 70,000 thoughts per day. It is not surprising, is it? By now, we have realised how endlessly we think and how we even jump from one thought to another without any effort.
Often thoughts occur in autopilot mode and can originate without any sensory stimulation (input to sense organs). Thinking can take the form of analysing, judging, reasoning, decision-making, planning, problem-solving, imagining and more. It could be related to the past, present, future or be completely fictional.
As we acquire more experiences in our life, the number of thoughts also increase in an average human being. And when unpleasant experiences occur, there is a tendency of having unpleasant thoughts and some of them become repetitive for a period of time. This, we know as remembering and ruminating over and over again. It may affect us negatively as unpleasant thoughts can activate an emotional response each time and that makes us feel stress, fear, sadness and so on every time they occur. When such thoughts become chronic, they might take a toll on our mental health.
Managing those unpleasant thoughts
We dwell on stimuli or events that cause negative thoughts as the human brain has evolved with “negative bias” – according to mindfulness expert Metta McGarvey. Negative bias is nothing but the tendency to take more time to overcome a bad experience compared to leaving behind a good experience. This was a necessary survival tool for our ancestors who faced life-threatening situations more often which is not the case in the present.
Fortunately, it is possible to take steps to overcome the negative bias as our brains can learn and change. Of course, it takes practice to change this learned behaviour. So how do we manage repetitive unpleasant thoughts and lean towards more positive thinking?
- The first step is always to realise that it is very common to have unpleasant thoughts and that the more you try to avoid it forcefully, the more it will persist.
- Maybe take time to observe and identify the type of unpleasant thought patterns that occur. Do you personalise them by thinking it is all your fault, or over-generalise by saying, “This always happens to me”, or do you try to get rid of them by saying, “I have to stop thinking this”?
- Remind yourself time and again that not all thoughts are facts as most of them are assumptions and biases.
- Try to deal with each negative thought more consciously by thinking about it positively. For example, “What is the upside to this experience? Is there a lesson here? Does this open door to new opportunities I did not explore before?”
- Reframe the situation into a positive interpretation. A negative memory is shaped by how a stimulus or an event was perceived. Through positive interpretation, you simply give the situation a fair chance.
- Add behavioural changes that add positive experiences to your body and mind. Exercising, reading, learning new skills etc.
- And most importantly – be kind to yourself.
The key is in acclimatising your brain to become more positive by repeating the above steps. Acquiring mindfulness skills is also recommended to manage repetitive unpleasant thoughts. Mindfulness emphasises acceptance of our thoughts and feelings in the present moment with non-judgment and mindfully experiencing the present moment. This helps train your brain to be aware of the present and experience – the here and now – mindfully and gradually reduces the number of times your thoughts hijack your present.
When to seek help
Seek professional help if you find the unpleasant thoughts to be:
- Consuming you
- Are unusual and extremely negative
- When they bother you deeply
- If you have destructive thoughts
- They are persisting and getting in the way of your daily life
Many therapies are designed to help manage thoughts better. Cognitive behaviour therapy can help in addressing underlying issues causing intrusive thoughts and help in bringing them to a minimum.
The positive side to thoughts
We need thoughts. By inculcating a habit of positive interpretation, you can develop positive thinking and a wise relationship with thoughts. Once you learn to and practice looking at your thoughts as they are and connect to them with positivity, you may become friends with them. When you intentionally engage with your thoughts with positivity, creativity blossoms. It helps you build resilience and increases your life satisfaction.
